Obstacles to accepting the vānaprastha āśrama: #8. Late starts

The Vānaprastha Adventure, Installment 32

Especially in ISKCON’s early years, many devotees put off marriage till later than thirty or forty. So although those devotees are now past fifty, they have young children. And, more recently, devotees who joined ISKCON after pursuing advanced degrees and building a career before marriage may similarly find themselves near fifty or past it but still have young children.

Down the road in ISKCON’s history, our passage through the different āśramas may be more in sync with the varṇāśrama ideal. But that we’ve entered the gṛhastha āśrama late doesn’t mean we must be late to become vānaprasthas. Old age and death are unlikely to hold off to give us extra time. So, like everyone else, devotees who have gotten a late start are best advised to keep their upcoming death in view—and act accordingly.

Otherwise, what can we do? As my friend Ekendra Dāsa brought up in one of my vānaprastha seminars: Whatever āśrama we might be in, preaching Kṛṣṇa consciousness will bring our life closer to the ideal. We may be far from the ideal of what the vānaprastha life should be, but if we simply take up some preaching project, other things will fall into line, whereas otherwise—if we are just trying to be vānaprasthas for the sake of being an ideal Vedic person in a less than ideal time—they might not.

Ekendra reminded us about our original London gṛhasthas, who were in some ways more like sannyāsīs, living with practically nothing. And he offered this example: According to vastu, a building might be aligned all wrong, with all the four corners pointing the wrong way, the entrances in the wrong directions, and so much else inauspicious, but if on the property we have a cow with her calf, that trumps all the negatives. Similarly, our life may be all wrong from the varṇāśrama point of view, but if we use everything for Kṛṣṇa’s service, especially in preaching, we’re good.

Nonetheless, we should keep in mind: Death won’t wait. So we may not wait either.

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Our discussion of obstacles will continue in the next installments.

This is part of a draft

This is an excerpt from a new book I have in the works—The Vānaprastha Adventure, a guide to retirement in spiritual life. While I’m working on it, I’ll be posting my draft here, in installments. I invite your comments, questions, and suggestions.