The vānaprastha and pre-vānaprastha checklists

The Vānaprastha Adventure, Installment 38

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The items listed here have been discussed in some detail earlier in the book. (In The Vānaprastha Adventure they appear as Appendix 1.) For the most part the items are listed in no particular order, and some may also overlap. Go through the list and start adopting items, as you may choose.

The pre-vānaprastha checklist

(Mainly items to adopt long before entering vānaparastha life)

• Marry timely
• Have strong sādhana
• Follow the four regulative principles strictly
  • No intoxicants, including coffee and tea
  • No meat, fish, or eggs
  • No gambling
    • This includes “idle sports.” If you still have an interest in sports or games, this is the time to give it up.¹
  • No illicit sex
    • This means no sex except for the sake of having children. Even if you find this rule difficult, accept that you should follow it, and take steps in that direction.
• Have children early and be done with it (but not through using contraceptives)
• Have a definite vānaprastha target
  • Make it part of your family’s strategic plan. When do you want to enter vānaprastha life? How do you plan to do it? Meditate on these things—and arrange your life accordingly.
• Follow sensible financial planning
  • Keep expenses low
  • Stay out of debt
  • Invest sensibly
• Don’t hoard
• Be charitable
• Follow some austerity
  • Rise early
  • Follow Ekādaśī
  • And so on.
• Do all you can to share Kṛṣṇa consciousness with others
  • Distribute books
  • Do programs at your home
  • Go door to door
  • Arrange conferences
  • Start saṅga groups or other initiatives
  • Whatever!
• Write and execute a last will. You can revise it later. But do it. In the event of your death, that document can help make sure your wishes are followed. And whether you die soon or not, writing and executing that document will help you remember your mortality.²
• Execute a medical power of attorney or a living will (or both).³
• Train children or others to take over your duties
• As the time approaches, start closing up shop

The vānaprastha checklist

1) No-risk steps

Mental steps

• Put aside your image of yourself as a gṛhastha; that’s not what you are anymore
• Develop philosophically supported detachment from children, grandchildren, relatives, and so on.
• Change your focus: from mostly family to mostly Kṛṣṇa consciousness
• Keep your impending death in view
• Sharpen your focus on reviving your eternal relationship with Kṛṣṇa as his eternal servant

Practical steps

• Practice marital social distancing
  • Separate beds
  • Separate rooms
  • Avoid dressing and undressing in front of one another
  • Disentangle those two gross and subtle bodies
• Refrain entirely from sex
• Simplify eating
  • Eat at regular times
  • Eat in moderate amounts
  • Eat simple food
  • Avoid eating food cooked by nondevotees
    • Avoid precooked food from stores
    • Stay away from restaurants (Even devotee restaurants, with their spirit of enjoyment, may generally be better to avoid.)
• Simplify sleeping
  • Use a simple bed, or the floor
  • Follow regulated times for sleeping
  • Sleep only as much as needed
• Optionally, perform a ceremony to solidify your determination
• Change your name (Dāsa Vanacārī or Dāsa Gauravanacārī)
• Simplify your dress
• Change your colors (white or yellow cloth; saffron only if the wife is deceased or long gone)
  • For women, a plain white sari only if the husband is no longer; otherwise according to choice (one option is white with a colored border)
• Get rid of what you don’t need (you don’t need much)
• Trim your hair or shave it off
• If you have facial hair, off with it
• I am reluctant to advise women what to do. But one reader of my manuscript has suggested that women give up jewelry, makeup, nail-painting, hair dye, and fancy clothing.
• Wear tilaka
• Shun grāmya-kathā
• Get rid of grāmya-kathā distractions
  • Cancel newspaper and magazine subscriptions
  • Clear your shelves of needless mundane books
  • Cancel your cable subscription
  • Ditch your television altogether
  • Limit your computer time
    • Off before 9 am
    • Use software tools to restrict your involvement with the internet
  • Limit your use of the phone
  • Hear and speak about Kṛṣṇa
• Turn away from social media
• Avoid mundane social occasions—birthdays, graduations, weddings, anniversaries, and so on
• Get rid of needless stuff—sell it, give it away, somehow get rid of it
• Switch to a simpler car
• Consider a more modest dwelling
• Cut your expenses
• Cultivate the mood of being satisfied with less, with what comes on its own
• Learn to depend less on your partner
• Give up luxurious life
• Accept austerity

Up the sādhana

• Live a regulated life. Rest early, rise early, do the same things at the same times every day.
• Strengthen your daily program of sādhana
  • Japa
  • Kīrtana and bhajana
  • Hearing
  • Reading and study
• Take advantage of systematic study groups and courses
  • If you can take courses “on site,” away from home, so much the better. And at a holy place, better still.
• In your regular reading and hearing, notice the things Śrīla Prabhupāda says about retirement and vānaprastha life. Consider how they might apply for you. Take steps to bring your life closer to what you’ve understood.
• Perform pūjā
• Serve tulasī
• Take greater advantage of Ekādaśīs, Kārttika, and other such occasions
• Avoid wasting time
• Chant Hare Kṛṣṇa
• Pray to Kṛṣṇa for help and guidance

Up the sādhu-saṅga

• Attend temple programs
• Take advantage of online saṅga
• Take part in small devotional groups
• Invite sādhus to your home
• Attend festivals
• Attend retreats
• Go on pilgrimages
• Go on padayātrā
• Associate with those who, like you, are on the path of detachment
• Speak with others about what you’ve done to move on from householder life to the life of a vānaprastha. Hear from others what they have done.
• Avoid loose association
• Avoid professional Bhāgavatam reciters
• Avoid materialists, Māyāvādīs and prākṛta-sahajiyās
• Seek senior, more advanced association (but choose with care, being faithful to your spiritual master and your sampradāya)
• Spend time traveling with sādhus

Up the sevā

• Perform temple service
• Use your skills for the movement
• Render service to Vaiṣṇavas
• Serve as a mentor
• Organize home programs, other programs for temple congregations, or engagements beyond the temple and congregation, including festivals and retreats
• Give temple classes—at your local temple and other temples
• Lead home programs
• Lead other programs for the temple congregation
• Give seminars
• Speak or chant at festivals and retreats
• Teach at ISKCON venues like the educational institutes in Vṛndāvana and Māyāpur
• Go beyond the temple and congregation. Do programs at nondevotee venues.
• Get out and preach
• Go meet people door to door
• Distribute books
• Cultivate people’s interest in Kṛṣṇa consciousness
• Write
  • Write magazine articles
  • Write online contributions
  • Write letters to newspapers
  • Write letters to leaders in society
  • Write books

2) Steps with some risk

• Retire from your job
• Retire early, regardless of pensions and social security
• Travel and preach

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Notes:

1 At an initiation ceremony Śrīla Prabhupāda said, “The third… And no gambling or unnecessary sporting. People are wasting time. So many sportings they have invented—sporting balls, this ball, that ball. You see? Human life is very short. We do not know when we shall die. Before that, we must prepare ourself for the next life. Next life means directly going back to Kṛṣṇa, highest perfection.” (Dec. 19, 1968, Los Angeles) For health, however, Śrīla Prabhupāda did encourage walking and swimming.

2 For parents with minor children, having a will is particularly important. If both parents suddenly die, who is legally entitled to custody of the children?

3 A last will tells what you want done after you die. In contrast, a living will and medical power of attorney deal with what sort of medical treatment you want (or don’t want) while you’re still alive. Should you lose your ability to communicate, your living will instructs doctors and other caretakers about your wishes. Additionally (or alternatively), your medical power of attorney gives someone you trust the authority to speak on your behalf. Americans especially may find useful these resources given in the References: “Tips for Advance Care Planning,” “Tool Kit for Advance Care Planning,” and “Free Advance Directive Forms.” In India, a 2023 decision by the Supreme Court simplified procedures for executing a living will. In the References, see “Living Will and Healthcare Power of Attorney Authorisation” (IAPC).

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This is part of a draft

This is an excerpt from a new book I have in the works—The Vānaprastha Adventure, a guide to retirement in spiritual life. The book should be published in early 2026. Meanwhile I’ll be posting my draft here, in installments.